The past few months of my life have been filled with revelation after revelation. I’ve learned more about my Savior and myself in the past 6 months than I have in the entire 18 years of my life. It’s been overwhelming, to say the least. Learning that you’ve been wrong about a lot can hurt… terribly. Although painful, I am so beyond grateful that my Father in heaven loves me enough to show me where I have been wrong. Today, I stumbled upon a Christian blog that confused me. The writer said a lot of very true things that were backed up with solid scripture, and it left me aching as I was reminded how much I have yet to learn about true Christianity, and about Jesus Christ. To want Him so deeply while realizing that you don’t know Him in full, hurts. The truth is, I am doubtful that in this life I will ever know everything that pleases Him and everything He wants from me and every reason He does what He does. This may sound discouraging to some, but it is meant as an encouragement!
Constantly seek God, search to know the Lord more and more. Never stop asking Him to reveal the secrets of His beauty to you. But don’t, as I found myself doing today, get so caught up in the “doctrine” of it all that you forget the most true and lovely thing about Jesus- in Him we are made whole through His unfailing love!
1 John 4:18 says that “perfect love drives out fear”. The Lord loves us so perfectly that we don’t need to be afraid of believing lies and not having a full understanding of who He is and what pleases Him. The more we ask, the more He will show us(in his time! I don’t know how much I can handle, and although I wish I knew everything, God knows that I couldn’t handle it all)! Sitting in my room bible journaling today, I began to release the burden of finding out the truth and exposing the lies (that I have put on myself) and asked Jesus not to let His face be hidden from me. And because He loves me, I can trust that it won’t.
As He often does, He reminded me of a beautiful song called “Have Your Way” by Britt Nicole. Below are some words from the beginning of the song that I related to greatly, and I wanted to include them for your encouragement. I highly suggest listening to the song!
“Feels like I’ve been here forever, why can’t you just intervene? Do you see the tears keep falling, and I’m falling apart at the seems. You never said the road would be easy but you said that you would never leave. And you never promised that this life wasn’t hard but you promised you’d take care of me. So I’ll stop searching for the answers, I’ll stop praying for an escape. I’ll trust you God with where I am and believe that you will have your way.”
Continue to cast your cares on Jesus. When you make Him your number one priority, peace and understanding will surely follow. Sometimes it’s extremely hard to surrender our broken, confused, restless minds to Him, but I assure you that He can take care of it far better than you can. Although frantically searching the internet and asking every Bible expert you know might seem like the best solution, sometimes what you really need is to repeat some verses to yourself and rest in the peace of Jesus’ presence. One day, we will be with Him forever and He will answer any question you could possibly have. Until then, I believe His grace is sufficient to cover us in the areas where we are confused. The more that He increases in you, and you become less, the more you will naturally do the things that please Him. I leave you with these verses, and I pray that you will continually seek Him and live your life in His love.
1 John 4:18 “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”
Jeremiah 29:13 “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
James 1:27 “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”
2 Corinthians 12:9 “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christʼs power may rest on me.”
Romans 9:16 “It does not, therefore, depend on human desire or effort, but on Godʼs mercy.”
Romans 15:13 “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
1 Corinthians 13:2 “If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.”
All my love,